Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Weekly Weight-In Wednesday

So, in case you didn't notice, I missed posting my weigh-in for the last few weeks. Life has been crazy busy with sick kids and the holidays and life with a zillion kids and no sleep! I haven't made tons of progress weight-loss wise in the last few weeks, either...which hasn't been super exciting or inspiring....but I have to keep on keep'n on anyway!

For a brief re-cap: my last posting on Nov. 17, I had lost 4 pounds. (man, I would kill for a loss like that again!) The following week, Nov. 24 (the day before Thanksgiving,) I only lost 1/2 a pound. Then the next week, Dec. 1, I lost 1 whole pound....though that week did include Thanksgiving, so I was super pleased with my one pound loss. That brings us to today's weigh-in! I lost another whopping 1/2 pound. This brings me down to 145.5.

It's so crazy to think that 3 weeks ago my weight loss for one week totaled 2 pounds more than I have lost in the 3 weeks since!! It's crazy frustrating and sad....but this is real life I am dealing with here. Even though I have accomplished so much and lost so much weight and feel so much better physically, I still struggle. The issues that helped contribute to me being so over-weight in the first place have not just magically evaporated away with some of my fat; they are still there and still affecting me. When I am stressed out and/or missing out excessively on sleep it is worse. I also still have little freak out moments (sometimes moments last weeks...) where I feel like I can't possibly do this and, even if I do manage to succeed, there is no way I can possibly maintain this for the rest of my life! I freak out when I see super slim people at the gym working out for hours at a time (which I do now to lose the weight, but don't want to have to do for the rest of my life!) and hear them talk about never eating anything but "health" food. I freak out when I'm tired and stressed and all I want to do is put something in my mouth and chew it up and swallow it, then repeat. I freak out when I think about how easy it would be to slide back into my old ways of living. Freaking out is just so freak'n easy!!

I have to CONSTANTLY keep reminding myself that this is MY journey and MY life; comparing myself to others always leaves me with the short end of the stick and just serves to bring me down when I can't measure up. Me being and sustaining health through out the rest of my life will be what I need it to be and won't look like anyone else's life but my own. Right now, I really don't know exactly how it's all going to work for me. I do picture lots of hikes and bike rides and yoga with my daughters and rock climbing with my husband. I picture lots of yummy, whole foods and veggies and fruits as my main snacks. I know I will strength train at least twice a week (most likely at home once my gym membership is up) and continue working on becoming stronger and stronger. I know group sports and jogging are things I'd like to continue if not increase in my life as well. I know I will still need to use cardio equipment a few times a week to maintain my fitness level as much and how often I guess will have to be determined through trial and error.

But before I can find out what maintaining a healthy lifestyle looks like for me, I still have a way to go to reach my weight-loss goal. My goal originally was to get to 135...and then maintain my weight between 135 and 140 for the rest of my life. Now that I am only 10 pounds away from that goal, I think I need to go a bit lower than that because I still have a LOT of extra fat...more than 10 pounds worth. Although my new goal of 132 is only 3 pounds less, I feel like maintaining my weight between 130 and 135 is what is going to work for me. It'll be harder, but I think it's best.

I'm not exactly sure what I am going to do this week/month to give myself the little jolt (and kick in the rear) that I need to sprint to the finish line...but I'll find it....and I'll make it to that finish line!